Where’s Wally?

Where’s Wally?

Sometimes I just cannot help what tumbles out of my mouth. It used to just happen at home, in front of relatives, our adult children, hubby, they’d groan, laugh or be horrified or a combination of the three. Now I’m finding words tumbling out of my mouth in front of strangers, professionals I don’t really know. Inappropriate things, so I’ve been told by family. I don’t seem to be able to control them. I’ll give you a recent example.

At the gynaecologist’s rooms. Never met the guy before. Nice enough fella, don’t envy his job at all. Nurse was lovely too. Anyway examination time. I lie down and low and behold there’s a Where’s Wally poster on the ceiling. “Oh awesome”, I say out loud. I’m studying this poster hard whilst the gynaecologist does what a gynaecologist does and the nurse says to me, “are you alright? You’re doing really well”. “Yep, I’m trying to find Wally, this ain’t easy you know”. The nurse smirks at me. In my mind I was thinking, I’m damn serious about finding Wally. You’ve given me a challenge and I’m not leaving till I find him.

“Can you go into the third drawer down and grab me that green box please, she’s bleeding and I need to stop this”. The nurse got the box and exclaimed that she had never seen this before what exactly was it. Some medical name was thrown out by the gynaecologist that sounded like booshgrtstryst (not the actual name of course and it probably didn’t even sound like that, but you get the idea). The nurse asked what it did. “Basically it is like putty”, was the gynaecologist’s reply. Now I was a little concerned, one, because the nurse didn’t know of this product and surely she should, as I can’t be the only bleeder they’ve had, and two, where the hell was Wally?

Without any hesitation I threw my words out there. “Oh there’s a conversation starter if I ever heard one. What did you do today? Well I had my cervix puttied whilst trying to find Wally”.

Cripes, there they go, words out of my mouth travelling at warp speed. I could’ve sworn I was just thinking them to myself and hadn’t said them out loud but the laughter from both professionals could be clearly heard, so much in fact, they could be heard down the hallway and out into the waiting room where hubby was waiting. He knew, I’m sure, that something inappropriate had been said by me.

I never did find Wally, but I’m going back again for a follow up appointment. I’ll find him.

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